Don’t Postpone Joy

I was walking to the train this morning and saw a bumper sticker on an older car in a lower income neighborhood that read “Don’t Postpone Joy”. “Damn right,” I thought.

My first wife used to say that my first response to any question or request was “no.” It’s an exaggeration, but there is some truth to it. I used to need a lot of notice to change even small plans; things that could have been done almost anytime, or not at all. My only reason was that I had planned it that way and I didn’t like to change my mind. I’m not sure how I adopted this approach to life, but thankfully I have been able to give it up.

My friend Jim is a technology professional who really enjoys online gaming (not gambling), a hobby that he has passed on to me. He spends a lot of time online, and is very involved in his online community. However, Jim has a personal rule that online events and activity will always be postponed or canceled in favor of real-life events. If there is a chance to get out and be with friends and family, he takes it. Gaming can be postponed. Life can’t.

I’ve had to learn to be spontaneous. It took a little pressure from others to foster this change in me, along with a desire of my own to be more engaged with the people in my life whom I am close to. A friend counseled me a couple of years ago that if I wanted to have a loving relationship in my life that I would have to make room for it. I took her advice and it has had a big impact in my life. For example, I make time to be with my romantic partner, am less attached to having a plan, and more willing to drop what I am doing or have planned and get together with her. It’s the same for family and friends. My life is better for it. I put off the mundane, unimportant activity and choose instead to be with people.

TIWIKE:
Like the bumper sticker read, “Don’t Postpone Joy.” Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed rather than endured. That’s not to say that you don’t have to make time to get things done; you do. But placing the emphasis on the people and activities in your life that bring joy will make you a happier person. You won’t mind the chores and the occasional drudgery if you’re getting enough of the good stuff.

You may be ignoring some important people in your life. How about your family, kids and lover? Your friends? Yourself? Think of how important these people are to you. Are you putting enough of your time and energy into enjoying time with them? If not, maybe you need to postpone the work and not the joy.

Reader questions:
What are you doing to be joyful? Are you engaged with the people in your life? Are you postponing the joy in your life? In favor of what? What can you do to change that?

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